Athletes and Domestic Violence
A lady calls 911 and cries that her husband is beating her. She wants to file a report, but then asks the dispatcher if it is going to be in the paper the next day. When the dispatcher doesn't reply, she changes her mind about the report and hangs up (Cart). The lady was Sun Bonds, wife of all-star San Francisco Giant, Barry Bonds. Like the wives of other famous players, she was a victim of spousal abuse. Athletes are praised as heroes for what they do on the playing field, but what they do off the field is never mentioned.

Athletes have been abusing their spouses since sports were created, but not until the OJ Simpson trial has domestic violence become "the issue du jour." When Simpson was arrested on New Years Day for beating his wife, none of the newspapers reported it. When he pleaded no contest five months later, there was a small brief in the second page of The Los Angeles Times' Metro Section (Cart). In the last three years alone the list of the accused included Dante Bichette, Barry Bonds, John Daly, Scottie Pippen, Jose Conseco, Bobby Cox, Mike Tyson, Warren Moon, Michael Cooper, Darryl Strawberry, Duane Causwell, Olden Polynice, Robert Parish, and OJ Simpson( Callahan, Sports Ilustrated). And these are only the pro athletes whose wives had the courage to report the violence.

There is an act of domestic violence every eighteen seconds in the United States. One in every three women will experience it, according to a study done by The L.A. Times.
Abuse is the number one cause of injury for women. About six million women are abused each year; four thousand are killed (Cart). Although the sports world is not involved with all of these statistics, they are an important factor as to why the numbers are so high. The survey found that in 1995 there were 252 incidents involving 345 active sports players.

Another survey done by Sports Illustrated reveals that eight to twelve women a year are assaulted by their partners. More women die from abuse than from car accidents and muggings combined. A study done by the University of Massachusetts and Northeastern University revealed that out of 107 cases of sexual assault reported in various universities, most of them involved male student-athletes although they only make up 3.3% of the total male body (Callahan). This means that male student-athletes were six times more involved than males who were not student-athletes.

I, myself, was in a domestic abuse situation. My husband, now ex, was not an athlete. The important thing is to recognize the warning signs early and GET OUT!! There are organizations that will help you.

Welcome to my Love and Romance blog. Love and the nature of love and romance has been a mystery since the beginning of time.
"Falling in Love" is a common myth in this society. There is a differentiation to be made between what is termed "falling in love" and the act of real loving. Peck describes exactly what it is that we experience when We think we have fallen in love. Much of what Peck describes as falling in love has to do with what he calls "ego boundaries". These ego boundaries are established during infancy and continue to develop throughout the person's life. These boundaries represent an individual's limits with their mental and physical power, as they are perceived by the individual. With these ego boundaries many people feel confined into their own personal identity which generally creates a feeling of loneliness. A need to form a cathexis is then developed. Peck describes it thus, "The essence of the phenomenon of falling in love is a sudden collapse of a section of an individual's ego boundaries, permitting one to merge his or her identity with that of another person. The Sudden release of oneself from oneself, the explosive pouring out of oneself into the beloved, and the dramatic surcease of loneliness accompanying this collapse of ego boundaries is experienced by most of us as ecstatic. We and the beloved are one! Loneliness is no more!"
Now it is not to say that the feeling of having fallen in love means that there in no hope for true love to grow from it. Many loving relationships do form on these grounds. However, It is after the inevitable diminishing of this fervent emotional overload that true love is put to the test, and the result of the relationship will either fail or prosper. It has been said that the "magic" of any romance dies, a statement to which I can only accede to. Genuine love therefore will be established and continue to mature long after this feeling has ceased.
What then is true love? I suppose I should know what it is if I intend to have it grow out of a simple cathexis. As Peck describes it, love is "The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth."
Love then seems to fall into place as one of the key elements involved in enlightenment. To fully reach an individual's peak of spiritual potential, it seems imperative for a person to form a loving relationship with another person. There is so much to be gained from a bond between two individuals, which is most commonly the underlying motive for finding someone to connect with. Whether they are conscious of it or not, many people have a desire to find a companion from whom they can grow, whether it be intellectually, romantically, spiritually, or any other means of progression that is to be gained from that experience. Moreover, It is an integral part of any relationship to have the same desire to provide the stimulation that is necessary to inspire the other person's spiritual growth. For true love to succeed it must be as much of a giving experience as a receiving one.